Endings are hard. My girlfriends from Texas have been here for a week or so and it’s coming to an end. One left early Thursday morning the other is leaving Sunday, but if I’m not careful I will start grieving the seperation before they even leave. ‘Stay in the moment, breath, relax, enjoy, and start letting go.’ That is very similar to birthing class instructions. ‘See the pain as constructive effort instead of a symptom of death’. Hmmm, I’m seeing more parallels here. Being a woman who has given birth, raised and now releasing two children is such a vivid picture of life in relationship. I began nurturing and caring for the child before I could even feel or see him/her. But I also had to start ‘letting go’ right away too. Birth is letting go. There is more safety and control while they are inside of me.
I’m starting to feel that graspy thing well up inside me. Rush to have one more deep conversation, one more delicious meal, one more song or movie to share, one more walk or drive along the coast, one more view of green hills and bright yellow wildflowers,…..just one more.