We had such a great visit with our son that I’m not as sad saying goodbye as I thought I would be. When we moved to Yokohama a month ago telling our 20 year old son good-bye was the most painful part of the experience. But leading up to his first visit here, I was concerned about how the visit would go and how I’d feel once he left.
The apartment does seem a little empty, a little too quiet…but all my memories of him here bring a smile of warm affection. We have stories to remember and to tell, we even have great photographs to help us remember. We will talk about this first visit for years to come.
I don’t wish he lived with us here in this apartment, because there is too much joy in seeing him move into the unknown, even though it’s still a rough bumpy road. He’s a man with his own life to discover and live. His own story to write.
I do wish he could visit more often and bring his girlfriend and stay longer. We rushed a short visit in before his retail job gets really busy with the holiday season and it probably worked out for the best this way.
As we walked home from the train station after leaving him at the airport, we agreed that this may have been the best 4 days we have spent with him in many years.
But it was real relationship. It wasn’t strained silence or avoiding reality to ‘keep the peace’. We had some hard moments of misunderstanding or disagreement and we talked them through respectfully, although intently. There were tears but love was confirmed, felt and enjoyed. We have a history that’s kind of a mess. It would not have been real if we avoided all hard discussions.
At one point my cynicism cracked and I wondered if friends and family were praying for our time together. I know many were aware of the timing and have prayerful hearts, I just sensed that something better than I was even hoping for was happening in our son and therefore in our relationship. Even now I feel the tears realizing it has been hard to hope things would get this much better between us. As you read this post, if you are one of the one’s who prayed for us this week, thank you. I believe God used you to intercede for us and it somehow made a difference, even though we had to say good-bye again.