“May all your expectations be frustrated,
May all your plans be thwarted,
May all your desires be withered into nothingness,
That you may experience the powerlessness and poverty of a child,
And sing and dance in the love of God
Who is Father, Son and Spirit,
Amen”
Brennan Manning, at the end of his sermon “God loves you as you are, not as you should be”, quoting his Spiritual Director Larry Hine
This morning on page 14 of ’66 Love Letters’ by Dr. Larry Crabb, I read these words (it’s written as if God is speaking to us regarding the message of the book of Numbers): “You will experience terrible failure and crushing conflict on the road that leads to where I’m taking you, but it is the right road even when it feels like it’s killing you.
In My fourth love letter, I make clear that the road to life is rough. You will begin every new adventure in life with naive hope and excitement. Every wedding will begin with passion then move into problems. Every decorated nursery will receive a baby that will present unanticipated challenges. Every church plant, every new ministry, every small group that starts with happy hopes – everything you do, no matter how well organized and well intentioned – will run into trouble. If you are in touch with what I created you to enjoy, everything in this life will diappoint you, even the best spouse, the best kids, the best job, the best church, the best vacation.
And that disappointment will lead you to wonder if you’ve missed the right road, if perhaps there is a better, more satisfying, less bumpy road through your life. There isn’t, not one that leads to real joy. I wrote Numbers to tell you that. The road to life will expose you to terrible failure and crushing conflict. But only that road leads to the life you want, the life I give you.”
This was a good reminder for me as I enter the final days of preparation for my 50th Birthday trip to France. I have the hardest time letting go of the unknown and uncontrollable. I tend to go through life trying to prepare myself for every possible scenario. This trip is just a little window into how I deal with everything. ‘No matter how organized or well intentioned – will run into trouble’, I need to accept that and trust that this is part of being on ‘THE path to Life’, real life in a world that no longer functions as it should, with real people no longer loving as we were designed to love. But He is with me, He already knows what joys and sorrows and frustrations this trip will hold for me. My part is to find my balance between preparing and resting. I don’t need to be constantly paddling as if I’m going upstream nor do I want to drift with the current down over the waterfall.
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